• Stephanie Speaks

An Open Letter to the Woman Struggling with Self Love

Updated: Oct 13, 2019


As a 30-year-old woman, I struggle with many things every day; sometimes this is my self-worth. Other people may see a woman in me who is confident in all that I am and all that I have to offer the world - yet from the inside out this is not always the case! I write this as an open letter to anyone struggling with self-love, but also to myself in honour of International Women’s Day. These are the values that I believe in, and it feels great to write something that can help others and yourself at the same time.

First let me start by acknowledging how hard society can be on us. It often tears people down, makes unfair comparisons and idealises unrealistic lives. Just go on any social media platform and there is usually a display of negativity towards another person somewhere in the timeline. You are not alone, if you stand as a woman who feels as though you are struggling to love yourself. Of course – not many women will openly admit that they lack self-worth, and this is because it makes us feel vulnerable and insecure. This is precisely why we need to talk about it!

There’re numerous things that will challenge a female’s confidence and this makes it easy to get wrapped up in a negative dialogue that you are worthless. But I am here to highlight that YOU MATTER and you are not worthless in any way. It’s fair to say that you are not going to be everybody’s cup of tea, but just like the next person, this is perfectly fine. Just because one person portrays your value as less this does not mean that your value has then changed! Yes - There will be days that you look in the mirror and feel like a weed in the garden. Again, that’s OK. Because the next day you could be there standing taller than a sunflower or feeling like the prettiest rose. And that’s OK too.

It’s so important to realise is that you are permitted to feel emotions toward yourself. Especially self-love. You are not forced to only see negatives. Your emotions can motivate, empower and excite you into new adventures if you allow them to. Self-love doesn’t just come from someone else telling you that “you need to love yourself more” or “you’re so pretty.” Self-love doesn’t come from the affection and attention of another person. Self-love doesn’t come from drugs or alcohol.

Self-love comes when you learn to accept the positives within yourself and when you allow yourself to listen to them alongside the negative.

You may never fully love every inch of your body, every aspect of your personality, or every decision that you’ve ever made. And again, that’s OK too. No person who walks this planet can offer perfection. Embrace the days that you feel like a gorgeous rose and work through the days that you feel like a weed.

You are spectacular. You are worthy of love and affection. You are smart. You are valuable. You are never too much, and you are always enough. You are worth more than the number on the scale, or the price on your clothes. You are worth more than the number of men who want you, or the number of women who wish they were you. You are worth more than the number of followers you have on Instagram (other social media platforms are available ;) ).

Aim to become mindful. I know if you’re struggling with self-love this can be hard. Stay true your beliefs, thoughts, goals and future. Believe in yourself and your ability enough to make your own decision. You may decide that you are unhappy with an aspect of yourself, physically, mentally, or emotionally. And that’s OK. As a human being, we are always shifting and growing.

Start to celebrate the small victories! Any form of progress is progress. You may have started going to the gym or started to learn a new skill. Be proud of that! While you do that... forgive yourself for anything that you feel guilt for. We are all human and make mistakes. Do not let them mistakes be roadblocks – take them as a lesson and grow from it. Flowers grow back even when they’re stepped on - so can you! I realise that self-love can be tough sometimes; keep your head up and stand tall. It is okay to be yourself fully and truly.

#selflove #positivity #growth #internationalwomensday

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